Alligators at the Window, Libraries Under Review

Act One: A Florida man once removed a live alligator from a roadside area and carried it to a fast-food restaurant. He then approached the drive-thru window, where the evening’s special turned out to be three feet of reptile.

Act Two: According to police, the man tossed the alligator through the window. Nobody was seriously hurt, which is the sort of sentence that makes a report feel less like public safety and more like a rejected cartoon premise. The animal was recovered, and the man faced charges including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Act Three: The alligator had apparently been looking for a meal. It found one with a microphone.

Act One: In another neighborhood dispute, a homeowner installed a small “little free library” in the front yard, offering passersby free books. This is generally considered a wholesome activity, just ahead of returning shopping carts and not yelling at strangers.

Act Two: The homeowners association objected, citing rules about yard structures and exterior modifications. The resident was told the library had to be removed or face fines. The box was not attached to the house, blocking traffic, or distributing anything more inflammatory than paperback mysteries, but it had apparently crossed the invisible border between charming and unauthorized.

Act Three: Somewhere, a committee approved a gazebo and rejected The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

In both cases, the unusual object was small, stationary, and apparently more organized than the people responding to it.

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