Columnists
Sunday, May 3, 2026 · Shalimar
Skip the State Capitals—Head to the County Seat Nobody's Heard Of
There's a tier of American towns that aren't quite big enough for tourism boards but too charming to ignore. Here's where to find them—and why a Friday night there beats another weekend at the overcrowded usual suspects.
Cast Iron Is Not Your Enemy (And Stop Seasoning It Like You're Afraid)
That black skillet your grandmother left you isn't precious or temperamental—it's practically indestructible. Here's how to actually use it without performing kitchen magic.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Farmer's Carry Will Fix Your Posture Better Than Any Desk Chair
You've probably never heard of it, but this single exercise does more for your shoulders and core than months of "standing up straight" attempts.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Fall Smallmouth Bite Is Vicious Right Now—Here's Why You're Missing It
Smallmouth bass are gorging themselves stupid before winter, and if you're not throwing crawdad patterns in October, you're leaving fish on the table.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
How to Hand-Cut a Box Joint Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Fingers)
Box joints look like fancy furniture maker magic, but they're actually the gateway drug to hand-tool woodworking—and you can nail your first one this weekend with nothing but a saw and a pencil.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Devil's Promenade at Cape Perpetua Is Worth the Crowds—If You Know When to Go
The Oregon coast's most dramatic short hike nearly broke my ankles and completely justified the hype. Here's exactly what I learned.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Sunset Concert Festival Industrial Complex Is Out of Control and I'm Here For It
Why do we need seventeen different "golden hour music experiences" this season? Because apparently we do, and honestly, the chaos is kind of beautiful.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Brutalist is Three Hours of Prestige Torture, and I'm Here for It
Brady Corbet's sweeping epic about ambition and American excess is exhausting, occasionally boring, and absolutely unmissable—the kind of movie that makes you hate it while you're watching and defend it passionately afterward.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Great Skincare Gaslighting: Why Your $200 Moisturizer Is Probably Just Expensive Water
Influencers are selling us a fantasy that our faces are broken and only their curated product stacks can fix them. The skincare industrial complex has officially jumped the shark.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Curious Case of People Who Really, Really Wanted Credit for Inventing Things They Didn't
From a potato salad controversy that escalated to legal threats, to the man who spent decades insisting he invented the cheeseburger—welcome to the weird world of culinary credit-stealing and how far people will go to claim they started it all.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Stop Pretending the Met Gala Is About Fashion
The Met Gala isn't haute couture's Super Bowl—it's a billionaire's dress-up party that's somehow convinced us to care. Here's why we should stop.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Fed Just Admitted It's Been Guessing
Jerome Powell's latest pivot reveals the central bank has been flying blind on inflation for two years—and Main Street paid the price while they figured it out.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Danger of Quoting Dead People to Avoid Living Ones
We've turned philosophy into a security blanket, hiding behind Stoic emperors and dead poets instead of having the conversations that actually matter.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Why You Should Read the Shortest Poems First — and How That Changes Everything
The haiku isn't a poem for beginners. It's where master poets go to say what can't be said any other way.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Affirmation That Actually Works (Because You're Not Saying It Wrong, Your Brain Is Just Tired)
Most affirmations fail because we're treating them like passwords to unlock our best selves. Here's what actually happens when you repeat something with intention—and why timing matters more than the words.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Mercury's Having a Mood Swing and It's Taking Us With It — Here's How to Survive Thursday
The cosmos is serving chaos energy today, and one sign is about to learn why the universe has a sense of irony. Buckle up, celestial friends.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Great Unlearning: Why Your Parents Got Better at This Than You
A wave of older adults is returning to trades nobody wanted anymore. And they're teaching the rest of us something uncomfortable about what we've been running from.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Ichetucknee isn't just clear—it's a masterclass in humility
Florida's most famous spring run looks deceptively simple until you realize the current has opinions about where your kayak goes, and the manatees don't care what your plan was.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Mercury Stops Playing Games—Wednesday's Cosmic Reckoning for the Zodiac
The planet of communication enters a rare retrograde shadow today, meaning your texts will either be deeply prophetic or deeply regrettable. Here's who needs to keep their phone on airplane mode.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Skip the State Capital—Your Real Weekend is 45 Minutes East on a Two-Lane Highway
Small-town diners exist everywhere, but the ones that still make their pie crust from scratch and remember your order from 2003 are getting rarer. Here's where to find one before they're all gone.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Dead Bug Is Still King, and Here's Why Your Core Has Been Lying to You
You've probably done planks wrong your whole life. Here's the one exercise that actually teaches your abs and back to work together instead of fighting each other.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Cast Iron Season Your Cast Iron, and Then Season It Again
Your grandmother's cast iron pan is tougher than any nonstick you'll ever own—but only if you stop treating it like it might break.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
How to Cut Perfect Dovetails With a $15 Saw (and Stop Massacring Your Joints)
Dovetails look impossible until they're not. Here's the technique that turns shaky hands into tight joints—no fancy tools required.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Fall Stripers Are Stupid Hungry — Here's How to Load the Boat Before It Gets Cold
The striper bite is on fire right now, and you've got maybe three weeks before these fish go deep. Here's exactly where to find them and what they'll crush.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Lost Lake Loop's Secret Payoff (And Why Nobody Walks Past Mile Two)
The best view in Oregon's Cascades sits just beyond where most hikers turn back—and the trail smells like Douglas fir and regret the whole way up.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Viral Concert Moment That Proves We're All Just Thirsty for a Connection
An artist stopped mid-song to help a fan in the crowd, and suddenly everyone's pretending they've always cared about live music authenticity. Here's why this time, they're actually right.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Weirdos Are Saving Us (And That's Exactly How It Should Be)
While everyone else optimizes their lives, the obsessive hobbyists are out here solving actual problems. Today's good news comes from people who refused to pick a normal passion.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Homeowners, Squirrels, and the Tyranny of Cedar Siding
An HOA discovered that enforcing architectural guidelines is easier than enforcing the laws of nature. A Florida man learned this the hard way.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
The Ichetucknee Spring Run: Why Your Perfect Paddle Might Destroy What Makes It Perfect
Crystal-clear spring water and lazy current sound like paradise—until you realize you're one of 500 people floating down a two-mile ribbon on a Saturday. Here's what you need to know before you go.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Mercury's Mischief Monday: The Week Starts With Cosmic Chaos and One Sign Gets a Celestial Warning
The cosmos is restless this Monday, and one sign is about to learn why Mercury in retrograde motion paired with a waning moon is nobody's idea of a good time. The stars have something to say about your week—and most of it involves watching your mouth.
Sunday, May 3, 2026