Wars, Floods, and Other Times History Lost the Plot

Setup: In 1932, Australia declared war on emus after the large, flightless birds began damaging crops and fencing in the wheat-growing districts. The government sent soldiers armed with Lewis machine guns, because apparently the usual agricultural advice columns had been exhausted.

Escalation: The emus proved difficult to corner. They scattered into smaller groups, moved quickly, and absorbed an impressive amount of ammunition without behaving like a conventional enemy. One officer reportedly compared the birds to tanks, although tanks generally have the decency to remain in formation.

Punchline: The operation was abandoned after the military had fired thousands of rounds and failed to solve the emu problem. Australia did not formally surrender, but the birds retained control of the countryside.

Setup: In 1925, a Greek soldier was reportedly shot after crossing the border with Bulgaria while chasing a stray dog. The incident might have remained a grim footnote in the history of poorly timed pet retrieval, except that relations between the two countries were already brittle.

Escalation: Troops moved toward the border, shots were exchanged, and Bulgaria appealed to the League of Nations. For several tense days, Europe watched a territorial crisis develop around a canine that had apparently declined to provide a statement.

Punchline: The League ordered Greece to withdraw and pay compensation. The dog, whose name has been lost to history, appears to have escaped both military service and diplomatic consequences.

Setup: On January 15, 1919, a storage tank holding more than two million gallons of molasses burst in Boston. The syrup surged through nearby streets in a wave roughly 15 feet high, because even disasters occasionally arrive with the texture of a pancake topping.

Escalation: The flood moved at an estimated 35 miles per hour, wrecking buildings, sweeping away vehicles, and killing 21 people. Rescue workers had to wade through a waist-deep field of sticky molasses while horses became so coated that witnesses compared them to giant caramel animals.

Punchline: The cleanup took months, and residents claimed the smell of molasses lingered for years. Boston, briefly, was a city where the streets were paved with something that belonged on toast.

This Week in Weird History: In 1932, Australia’s most expensive military campaign was fought against birds that had never signed a peace treaty.