The Bear, the Alligator, and the Lawsuit Against Birth

A bear in Colorado climbed into an unlocked sheriff’s patrol car and settled in for what authorities described as an extended inspection. The animal damaged the vehicle while exploring the interior, apparently finding the equipment more interesting than the surrounding forest.

It then honked the horn, which alerted deputies to the situation. The bear exited without citations, statements, or any discernible interest in becoming a law-enforcement partner.

The patrol car was left with a bear-shaped argument against leaving the doors unlocked.

A Florida man once obtained a young alligator and carried it to a fast-food restaurant. The evening might have ended with an ordinary warning about wildlife regulations, had he not thrown the animal through the drive-through window.

No one ordered an amphibious side dish, and the alligator reportedly survived the encounter. The man faced charges related to possessing and transporting the animal, along with aggravated assault.

The customer-service window had apparently been judged insufficiently dramatic.

In India, a man announced that he planned to sue his parents for giving birth to him without his consent. He said the complaint was meant to challenge the assumption that people may create new people without first securing permission from the new people.

He later indicated that the lawsuit was partly a joke, which is generally how legal theories involving prenatal paperwork conclude.

The defendant’s strongest argument was unavailable for comment, having existed before the plaintiff.

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