My Kid Wants to Skip College. I Paid for It Already. Now What?

Dear Zoe,

I feel like a failure for even writing this. My son is 18. We saved for years — scraped together $30K for his first year at a solid state school. He got in, we're all excited, and then last month he tells me he wants to defer and start a "digital marketing agency" with two friends instead. He says college will "always be there" and he needs to try this now. My husband thinks it's a terrible idea. I think it's a terrible idea. But I also wonder if I'm just being a boomer about it.

Is my kid delusional? Should I put my foot down?

— Tuition in Limbo

Look, I'm not going to tell you your kid is delusional. But I am going to tell you something harder: you're probably not the main character in this decision, even though it feels like it because you wrote the check.

Here's the thing about the "college will always be there" argument — it actually has teeth. A 22-year-old starting college is different from an 18-year-old. The motivation changes. The readiness changes. And yeah, sometimes people need to blow it out of their system first. That sucks to hear when you've already mentally spent the money.

But here's where I'm with your husband: a "digital marketing agency" is not a real business plan, it's a feeling. And feelings are not a $30,000 decision.

The question isn't whether your kid should go to college. The question is whether they have an actual shot at making this work, or whether they're romanticizing entrepreneurship the way kids do.

So before you shut it down or give in, make them prove it. Not in a punitive way — in a "if this is real, you can handle these questions" way.

Here's what I'd ask: What's your first client? Not a hypothetical. An actual business or person who's said yes. How much will they pay? What's the three-month revenue target? If you don't hit it, what's Plan B? Can you live on what you make, or do I need to keep funding you? When would you actually start college — year two? Year five? How do you know?

If your kid can answer those questions with specificity, not vibes, maybe there's something there. If they get vague, that's your answer too.

The real risk here isn't that college gets "skipped." It's that your kid burns out on the agency in eight months, feels like a failure, and now has the energy of a deflated balloon instead of the hunger of an 18-year-old. And then college feels like a consolation prize instead of a choice.

This isn't about sides — boomer versus Gen Z. This is about whether your kid is making a decision or running from one. There's a difference.

Your one step: Before anything else, sit down with your kid and ask them to write down their three-month and one-year business targets in actual numbers. See what happens. That answer will tell you everything.