Homeowners' Associations: Where Democracy Goes to Die (And Takes Your Mailbox With It)

A Florida homeowner received a violation notice from his HOA for an unapproved lawn decoration. The decoration in question was a ceramic flamingo. The flamingo contained his wife's cremated remains. He had been scattering her ashes gradually over several years, keeping the flamingo as a memorial. The HOA did not accept his explanation.

Meanwhile, in a Virginia subdivision, a woman was cited for excessive tree coverage after planting a privacy screen of Italian cypress along her property line. She had planted them specifically because the HOA bylaws explicitly permitted Italian cypress. The HOA's position was that while Italian cypress was permitted, the quantity she had planted was, in their judgment, excessive. When asked what quantity would be acceptable, the HOA board chair suggested she plant fewer trees. She asked how many fewer. He suggested she call back when she had a specific number in mind. She is still waiting.

In California, a homeowner's association attempted to fine a resident for keeping a "non-approved color" in his driveway. The color was concrete gray. His driveway is made of concrete. The HOA had recently updated its architectural guidelines to include a preferred palette of acceptable grays, none of which matched his existing driveway, none of which were meaningfully different from his existing driveway, and all of which required professional resealing to achieve. He paid the fine rather than repaint concrete to match a Pantone swatch that exists primarily to justify the HOA's quarterly meetings.

The flamingo man paid his citation. His wife's temporary resting place is now stored in a closet.

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