Norma Whatadeal

This week’s files contain a patrol car with an uninvited passenger, a fast-food window used as an alligator launch site, and a man who objected to being born. Administrative life continues.

This week, Florida offers an alligator with drive-thru ambitions, a raccoon discovers canned beer, and a man takes his parents to court over a missing collection. Civilization continues, technically.

This week, wildlife entered customer-service territory, an HOA discovered that a vegetable garden can become a constitutional crisis, and one litigant found an opponent he could finally understand.

A live alligator entered the drive-thru phase of its life, while a homeowners association discovered that a tiny public library can apparently threaten the structural integrity of a neighborhood.

This week, wildlife entered a patrol car, an alligator entered a restaurant, and a man entered court seeking an airplane that never existed. The paperwork remains undefeated.

A Florida man's battle with his homeowners association over lawn height took an unexpected turn when he discovered a loophole nobody anticipated.

A Florida retiree's lawn decoration sparked a years-long war with his HOA. The flamingos won.

A Florida subdivision's governing documents contained a clause permitting the association to fine residents for violations of future amendments. The residents are still waiting to see what they did wrong.

An HOA president discovers her nemesis has been photographing her violations for months. A man decides to settle a property line dispute the only way that makes sense. Florida continues being Florida.

An HOA enforcement letter arrived. The homeowner had complied perfectly. The problem was what they'd complied *with*.

A retiree got fined for his lawn ornament. The ornament was a flamingo. The flamingo was also his late wife's ashes.

An HOA discovered that enforcing architectural guidelines is easier than enforcing the laws of nature. A Florida man learned this the hard way.