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Click here for daily readings I remember as a child and young adult thinking about how I would do everything I wanted when I was in charge of my life. My time, money, physical space, and things would be all mine and exactly how I wanted them. I was such a silly girl, thinking that being in charge meant everything would go my way. By the time I was in my early 20’s I had moved with my husband 2,000 miles from our home, bought a house, started a career, and had a baby. I was certainly in charge of my life, as it was my responsibility, but extraordinarily little was exactly as I wanted it.  If you were to ask me what I want now, my ideas are vastly different. I want God. I want to do His will and share the Gospel. I want to give of myself in service to those who God places in my life. I, like the psalmist, thirst for God. I have learned through life experience what it means to have it all and feel empty inside. Rather than looking to God and trusting in Him, I trusted in myself. Like the chief priests, scribes, and elders in the temple, I asked Jesus many questions, yet rarely paused long enough to hear His response. I ran, head down, toward being in charge. Did I believe in God? Yes, but He was on call, not a part of my daily life. He was the helpline.  Rather than putting my faith in Jesus, I put my faith in myself and did not allow Jesus’ authority to guide me. I doubt I am alone in this sin. The question then is, what are you thirsting for? The world or God? When we thirst for God we spend time in Scripture, prayer, at His altar, in His presence, and knowing we need Him. Our lives give glory to Him who has given us everything, who satisfies our every thirst, who gives us the grace to live a life devoted to Him. Live today as the readings tell us to: build yourself up in faith, pray in the Spirit, love God, expect the mercy of Jesus, help others, call upon Him, praise Him, and know that He is the authority over your life.  Contact the author Recuerdo que de niña y adolescente pensaba en cómo haría todo lo que quisiera cuando tuviera el control de mi vida. Mi tiempo, mi dinero, mi espacio físico y mis pertenencias serían todos míos y exactamente como yo los quería. Era una niña tan ingenua, pensando que tener el control significaba que todo saldría a mi manera. Cuando tenía poco más de veinte años, me había mudado con mi esposo a más de 3000 kilómetros de nuestra casa, habíamos comprado una casa, había comenzado una carrera y habíamos tenido un bebé. Ciertamente tenía el control de mi vida, ya que era mi responsabilidad, pero extraordinariamente pocas cosas eran exactamente como yo las quería. Si me preguntaran qué quiero ahora, mis ideas son muy diferentes. Quiero a Dios. Quiero hacer su voluntad y compartir el Evangelio. Quiero entregarme al servicio de aquellos que Dios pone en mi vida. Yo, igual que el salmista, tengo sed de Dios. He aprendido a través de la experiencia de la vida lo que significa tenerlo todo y sentir un vacío interior. En lugar de buscar a Dios y confiar en Él, confié en mí misma. Como los sumos sacerdotes, los escribas y los ancianos en el templo, le hice muchas preguntas a Jesús, pero rara vez me detuve el tiempo suficiente para escuchar su respuesta. Corría con determinación hacia la idea de tener el control. ¿Creía en Dios? Sí, pero lo llamaba solo en caso de emergencia; no era parte de mi vida diaria. Era mi línea de ayuda. En lugar de poner mi fe en Jesús, la puse en mí misma y no permití que la autoridad de Jesús me guiara. Dudo que yo sea la única que haya pecado de esta forma. La pregunta entonces es: ¿De qué tienes sed? ¿Del mundo o de Dios? Cuando tenemos sed de Dios, pasamos tiempo en las Escrituras, en la oración, ante su altar, en su presencia, sabiendo que lo necesitamos. Nuestras vidas le dan gloria a Aquel que nos ha dado todo, que satisface toda nuestra sed, que nos da la gracia para vivir una vida dedicada a Él. Vive hoy como nos dicen las lecturas: edifícate en la fe, ora en el Espíritu, ama a Dios, espera la misericordia de Jesús, ayuda a los demás, invócalo, alábalo y reconoce que Él tiene la autoridad sobre tu vida. Comunicarse con la autora Deanna G. Bartalini, M.Ed., M.P.A. is a certified spiritual director, retreat leader, speaker, and writer with decades of experience serving the Church. She is the founder of LiveNotLukewarm.com, works on the retreat team at Our Lady of Florida Passionist Spiritual Center, and is an Unbound prayer minister.  She has served as a religious education director, youth minister, liturgical coordinator, and stewardship director. She writes for SpiritualDirection.com, CatholicMom.com, new.diocesan.com/, and Women in the New Evangelization (WINE). Deanna is the author of The Stay Connected Journals for Catholic Women, Invite the Holy Spirit into your Life, and has contributed to the Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion, as well as Digital Ministry and Leadership in Today’s Church. Feature Image Credit: Dawid Zawiła, unsplash.com/photos/trees-under-cloudy-sky-during-sunset–G3rw6Y02D0 The views and opinions expressed in the Inspiration Daily blog are solely those of the original authors and contributors. These views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of Diocesan, the Diocesan staff, or other contributors to this blog.