My Kid's Teacher Thinks I'm Lazy, But I'm Just Broke—And I'm Tired of Pretending Otherwise

Dear Mama Mae,

My second grader's teacher sent home a note saying my son "isn't keeping up" with reading because he "clearly doesn't have access to books at home." She suggested I invest in a home library and read to him every night. Here's the thing: I work two jobs. I read to him when I can, maybe three times a week. I can't afford new books, and our library is a bus ride away that I can't always make happen. The teacher makes it sound like I'm choosing not to help my kid, but I'm choosing between books and keeping the lights on. How do I respond without sounding defensive?

—Stretched Too Thin in Nebraska

Mama Mae Says:

First, let me say this clearly: You're not lazy, and you shouldn't apologize for your budget. That teacher meant well, probably, but she built her advice on an assumption that doesn't match your life. That's on her, not you.

Here's what I'd do. Write her back—keep it short, keep it factual, no emotion. Something like: "Thank you for the feedback. We read together when our schedule allows. I wanted you to know we don't have money for new books right now, but we use the library when we can. What else can we do at home with what we have?" That's not defensive. That's honest. And it puts the ball back in her court to actually help instead of just judge.

Now, the real talk: Your kid doesn't need a fancy home library. He needs you believing he can read. Three times a week beats zero times, every single time. And frankly, there are free options that teacher probably didn't mention because she wasn't thinking about families like yours. Library apps, free websites with stories, even YouTube channels with read-alouds. Not ideal, but real.

Here's what bothers me about this whole situation: Schools expect parents to fill the gaps that underfunding created, then judge you for not having the resources to do it. It's backward. Your kid's reading level is not a referendum on your parenting. Some kids are early readers. Some need more time. Some need actual intervention from a trained person, not more books on a shelf.

Ask the teacher what she's doing differently in class to help him. Is he getting extra support? Does he need an evaluation? Is he actually behind, or is he exactly where he should be for his age? Get specific. Make her do the job you're already doing—showing up.

And stop carrying guilt about money. You're working two jobs and still showing up for your kid. That's not lazy. That's everything.

One thing to do this week: Call or visit your library and ask about their app or digital lending. Download it. Show your son one story this weekend. Then reply to that teacher with your plan. You're not defending yourself—you're leading.